


Falsified Courage

by quartzfarmer



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Gen, Implied/Referenced Domestic Violence, Magnus Burnsides Needs A Hug, mentions of Past!Merle Highchurch/Hecuba Roughridge, no betas we post our first drafts like men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-26
Updated: 2018-11-26
Packaged: 2019-08-29 15:55:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,251
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16747000
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/quartzfarmer/pseuds/quartzfarmer
Summary: We only hear a little bit about how Magnus was doing after the whole thing with the Chalice where he literally denied the opportunity to be reunited with his dead wife, but  the first few days after coming back from Refuge were a bit Not Good™ for our favorite ruff boi.Chapter 1: "Merle Hitower Highchurch may not be good at emotions, but he can only go so long pretending to not hear Magnus crying through their connected wall."





	Falsified Courage

**Author's Note:**

> warning: discussion of domestic abuse in past merle/hekuba, magnus tossing (not too roughly, but still a toss) merle out of his room, magnus having some unhealthy coping mechanisms (yelling, breaking things)

     For all the time they have spent together adventuring, getting banned from festival games, and browsing the fantasy Costco, Merel has to admit he doesn't know much about Magnus. Obviously he's seen some shit or else he wouldn't be so shaken by the Chalice. The kid advertises himself as a Ruff Boi and a tank, built for nothing but rushing in and taking hard hits, but Merle can read between the lines. For a species that doesn't live all that long, a shocking amount of the humans he knows have a death wish. Back to the point; Merle Hitower Highchurch may not be good at emotions, but he can only go so long pretending to not hear Magnus crying through their connected wall.

     It takes him back a few years. He remembers those three weeks right after he first walked out on his kids. The period of time before he convinced himself that Hekuba was right and they would be better off without him was short, but he was much more of a wreck than he let on. He never wanted to leave his babies, Mookie with his tiny fingers and big chubby cheeks that would squish when he was resting against Merle's chest in in his sling, and Mavis with those thick glasses and how she would help him in the garden in the evenings when Hekuba was so drunk that Merle didn't want Mavis seeing her like that. He wanted the best for those kids, and when Hekuba would scream and tell him he was doing nothing for this home, leaving her alone all day while he went off to a job he enjoyed. She swore, wished he would get into an accident at work and leave her with the fantasy insurance money because then she would at least have something valuable. Hekuba would nag and scream and yell and he tried to keep the kids busy when he was at home, tries to bring home more food, or more money, tries to spend more time home, to work more, to spend time with her, to leave her be, but Pan damn it he couldn't take it any more. He felt so guilty for leaving her with nothing but all the coins he had, but she was driving him towards the edge of something terrible, so he left.

     Merle scrubbed a hand over his face, grounding himself. He had left, but he was here now. Hekuba may have been a bitch, but she would never lay a finger on the kids. This was the best situation for now, he told himself despite the shaking in his flesh hand and the burn in his throat.

* * *

 

     So that's how Merle found himself in front of Magnus' door. He's got a plate with different kinds of sandwiches, cut into triangles and stacked neatly, in his hand and a water bottle under his arm. He knocks a funny tune into the wood of the door, then presses his hand over the hidden wedding ring he keeps on a chain around his neck, and his stomach is jittery when he lets himself be aware of the gold band on Magnus' own left ring finger. He waits, a quick “Be right there!” and the sounds of shuffling papers coming through the wood. Eventually the door slid open and he saw the human, a sheet draped around his shoulders. He's a mess: mussed up hair, oily face... red eyes, snot crusted nose. “Hey, Magnus. I thought you could use a bit of a pick me up.” He gestures at the plate as he steps into the room. “Are you- are you doing alright?”

     Magnus carefully looks past the side of his head as he gives a smile that’s too much teeth and not at all convincing, “I’m doin’ alright, just caught a bit of a cold, so you probably shouldn’t hang around.”

     “You wanna try that again while looking at me?” His eyes slide to meet Merle's and they make eye contact for a solid ten seconds before his face screws up and he quickly pulls up an arm and hides behind his sheet, “You’re okay, kid." he murmurs, turning to close the door. He places a hand on Magnus' hip, ushering him to the bed. Merle sets down the sandwiches on the nightstand and mumbles "Let's get some water into you, huh? Cleric's orders." he nudges Magnus' leg with the bottle until a sheet-covered hand grabs it. Merle hops up on the bed to sit with his arm pressed to Magnus’. "Not gonna lie, these walls are real thin and you've gotta be dehydrated from all this crying."

     There's a sniffle from under the sheet before Magnus wipes his face before he drops the arm covering his face, "Oof, sorry. Didn't know you could hear me. I'll keep it down." He uncaps the bottle and chugs most of it. "I'm fine, Merle. Just... just, you know."

     "Actually, I don't know! So..." Merle chuckles, then "Shit, kid, don't be sorry about it. Do you wanna talk about... stuff? Or, uh... I brought sandwiches?" He gestures at the plate and Magnus takes half a sandwich.  
     "What did you see in the Chalice?" Magnus asks through a mouthful of some sort of hot-dog-slice and mayo monstrosity, "It showed us things we wished we could change, but you don't seem to regret not taking it."

     Merle thinks, then stops thinking, "Do you... regret not taking the Chalice, Magnus?"

     His eyes widen and he starts to defend himself, "Well, it's not quite- I mean, can you really call it regret if- a-and," Magnus' voice begins rising in pitch, "regret is a strong word, and what doesn't anyone regret, am I-," he stops, pulls the sheet back over his head.

     They sit in silence for a bit, Magnus never completing his thought, "I saw loosing my arm." Magnus-under-the-sheets stiffens, "Not you cutting off my arm, but the conversation I thought I'd had with Pan right before I touched that damn crystal." Merle kicks his legs against the side of the bed, "I've been a follower of Pan nearly my entire life- not the most... _devoted_ , mind you, but I thought I heard him speak to me and tell me to take the crystal. Imagine knowing someone for decades and mistaking someone else for them. Now imagine that someone is your deity!" He's quiet for a moment before deciding to continue, "Maggie, Pan and I've been through a lot. Before you and I met that first time and you fought someone over a Craig's List ad? I had just left my entire life behind and only brought the clothes on my back and some Pan tracks."

     "Why didn't it show you the day you left?"

     "Because it was a long time coming, kid. A real long time." Magnus looks blank, and that doesn't settle right with Merle, "How about you?"

     "I think you should go." The monotone voice feels like a punch in the stomach.

     "Wh-what? Hold on, kid! We're having a moment here!" But Magnus has him by the back of the shirt, and shit this took a weird turn, Merle thinks, before he's pushed out into the hallway. The door slams shut behind him and there are two moments of silence before the yelling starts. It's wordless, grunts and growls, then the ripping of cloth (the sheet, Merle assumes), before glass shatters and his blood runs cold and he hightails it out of there with wobbly legs and shaky breaths. 


End file.
